Adam Horovitz

The Borkowski poet in residence asked a builder his opinion of one of the major topics of the day and wrote this as a result…

“Tony Blair’s chief fundraiser and confidant Lord Levy was arrested for a second time yesterday on suspicion of perverting the course of justice over his role in the cash for honours affair.” The Guardian, Wednesday, January 31 If any email encryption bears Lord Levy’s inscription then the cards will come tumbling down and if the […]

Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty won Celebrity Big Brother last night. The Borkowski poet in residence celebrates her victory. Get ready for the jet set, Shilpa Shetty. You survived Big Brother without being petty and with magnanimity unalloyed forgave Jo, Jade and Danielle Lloyd. Get ready for the high life, Shilpa honey. You won Big Brother, […]

Jennifer Aniston has recently begun walking around her Los Angeles mansion in a deep sleep and then waking up confused and bewildered. Friends of Jennifer, 37, believe she has started sleepwalking because of stress in her personal life. The Borkowski poet in residence begs to differ. Jennifer, Jennifer, sleepwalking queen, are you rehearsing your roles […]

The Borkowski poet in residence takes a look at the aftermath of the racism/bullying hoo-ha surrounding Celebrity Big Brother. From the Houses of Parliament to the streets of Dehli debates are now raging about Channel 4 telly and specifically the show we thought was dead in the water. Now Celebrity Big Brother has every single […]

The Borkowski poet in residence comes over all Jamie Oliver after watching more Celebrity Big Brother than anyone should have to cope with. Take a pinch or two of 70s pop singer an ounce of bubbly blonde two teaspoons of scrofulous rock star a soupcon of gay man. and mix gently in a sterile environment. […]

The Borkowski poet in residence managed to tease an interview out of David Beckham on the announcement of his move to Los Angeles Galaxy for a quarter of a billion dollars. It’s time to a be a bit int’resting and remodel my career on Pele and George Best; get American footie into gear. The money […]

“Good photographers who have been thrown out by newspapers in cost cutting exercises now find themselves trudging celebrity land, like bounty hunters in search of prey. They are on the street, eating what they kill. Certain papers will publicly claim that they allow privacy, but they’re all hungry for front-page pictures… Even if the UK […]

Britney Spears is commissioning a nude portrait of herself. She has finally got back in shape following the birth of her second son, Jayden James, and is so proud of her figure she wants it “immortalised” in a painting. For Britney Spears, immortality means being painted in the nude. She wants to be a pop […]

This is how the old year dies; a ragged dictator swinging from the rope of days and weeks and months let go in the midst of prayers in a flood of abuse before the past can break from its cage. All the weddings and divorces, the extravagant moments of fake joy; all the tabloid exclusives, […]