BIG BROTHER’S LITTLE RACE ROW

The Borkowski poet in residence takes a look at the aftermath of the racism/bullying hoo-ha surrounding Celebrity Big Brother.

From the Houses of Parliament to the streets of Dehli
debates are now raging about Channel 4 telly
and specifically the show we thought was dead in the water.
Now Celebrity Big Brother has every single reporter

frothing and slavering for a small slice of news
about Shilpa, Jade Goody and her ignorant views
She’s not racist precisely, she seems too stupid for that,
but she certainly doesn’t realise her stock could fall flat

when she exits the house in the very near future.
Her career may well need a surgeon’s suture.
She’s got little understanding, and doesn’t seem to see
that the only people who’ll applaud are the BNP

as it’s no great step from bully to racist.
She’s an icon of society at its crassest, it basest.
Racism’s sparked by hatred and fear;
two qualities Jade hold depressingly dear.

but the media furore is wholly misplaced
and the issue of race has been debased.
It’s now horribly in hock to celebrity mores
for whom mores are less than their personal glories.

By treating Jade Goody as seriously as Iraq
her bite’s perceived as far worse than her bark.
She just needs to be loved, not pampered and spoiled
Her ego needs to stop being oiled.

She has to step back, take a look at herself
not just revel and roll in her newfound wealth.
She’s been cocooned, like a shark by Damien Hirst,
in a world of intolerance and she thinks the worst

of anyone who threatens her bubble with a pin,
which was Shilpa Shetty’s only plausible sin.
It’s laughable really, but still rather a shock,
to remember this all started with chicken stock

but it’s best not to jump too far to conclusions
for though there were certainly racist allusions
it was more about Jade leading the pack,
about winning respect by going on the attack.

It’s completely backfired and one can only hope
that President Bush isn’t enough of a dope
to send American troops into Big Brother house
to reunite Jermaine Jackson with his lonely spouse.

They’d only exchange fire with the Indian soldiers
intent on carrying Shilpa home on their shoulders.
Then Teddy Sheringham, full of footballer’s ire,
would come rescue Danielle from friendly fire

and the only hope for Dirk, with his A-Team credentials,
would be that the bullets would miss his barest essentials.
It’s unlikely the Americans would invade British soil
but if it happens, just pray they don’t find any oil.