The Drunker the Drinker

for Charles Kennedy who, at the time of writing, is still leader of the Liberal Democrats.

The drunker the drinker
the slower the thinker,
the less that gets done in the chamber.

The drinker who’s drunker
gets less chance to tinker,
fiddling instead with liquids of amber

and lies that are swallowed hook line and sinker
get every face in the House pinker and pinker –
the voice of the backbench takes a dissatisfied timbre.

The drinker who’s drunker
then looks like a plonker,
despite having given it up.

The drinker must hunker
down with political clunker –
with all other failures he must sup

because if the drinker’s a leader
then the silly old bleeder
shouldn’t liberally dose his despair

with pints or with chasers
as the political erasers
will soon get him out of their hair.