PRETTY AS A PICTURE

Tom Cruise is allegedly in talks to sell photos of his baby girl for up to $1 million. Whichever agency obtains the first official snaps of the tot will be able to sell them to the world’s newspapers and magazines.

We have photographs for sale
of a baby, a pretty baby
who looks like any other baby
(any other pretty baby –
I’ve seen some fat old Churchills in my time
and this isn’t one of them).
The photographs are very pretty –
carefully lit press snaps
of said pretty baby with his pretty father,
whose tendency to jump the couch,
shout in public, climb cars,
quash petty rumours
with a pretty chequebook
waved at pettifogging lawyers
and smile too much
(albeit prettily)
can be overlooked
because he is pretty
and he has a pretty baby now
who is featured in these
pretty photographs
which we have for sale.
The pretty mother even puts in
a pretty quick appearance
in some of the photographs
a pretty smile upon her silent, pretty lips
How much for our pretty pictures
which we purchased for a pretty penny
from the pretty film star
and his pretty fiancee?
You have pretty arms and legs.
How much do you value them?