NINE LINES ON THE RUMOURED WEDDING OF TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES

Can shotgun wedding socialites
auction off their photo rights
to the chequebook with the best head for heights?

And though all is to be silent at the baby’s birth
will shutters not snap for all they’re worth
to get a glimpse of Katie’s decreasing girth?

And will Tom (silently) cavort and prance
like a crippled spider with the urge to dance?
If the coverage is right, there’s a damned good chance.