COME PRAY WITH ME PLEASE MR PAISLEY

“Tony Blair has forged a special bond with the Rev Ian Paisley, the DUP leader who holds the future of the Northern Ireland peace process in his hands, by discussing their common interest in and commitment to Christianity…
“Blair is brilliant at seducing Paisley,” Lord Bew said. “This is the most amazing love affair, the last great Blairite romance. They are even exchanging books on religion. It is fantastic stuff. It is religious; it is romantic. It is brilliant.” The Guardian, Wednesday, March 14
The Borkowski poet in residence imagines what the Prime Minister might have said to Paisley.

Come pray with me please Mr Paisley
I’m wearing my Paisley hair shirt
and I so want to seal a power-sharing deal
I’ll do anything, however much it hurts.

Come pray with me please Mr Paisley,
sit and pray on the hard wooden seat.
Let us talk about sects and religious texts.
Did you know I lived on Paisley Street?

Oh yes, in the 50s, when I was a child
in Edinburgh before I was two.
Barely out of the pod. Yes, before I found God.
Look, it’s absolutely true.

Come pray with me please Mr Paisley
there’s so much we need to talk over.
How did you hang on to power so long past the hour
and make such a comeback, moreover?

Come pray with me please Mr Paisley
but just not about fire and brimstone;
the No Trident lobby have made it their hobby
to make that teacup sized storm a cyclone.

Let’s stay strictly on topic and pray for a while
before swapping religious texts
We still must talk facts, Sinn Fein and pacts
before working out where we go next.

So come pray with me please Mr Paisley,
let’s bend at the knee together
then discuss wars on terror and trials and error
and the tribulations a leader must weather.