‘This Morning’ this morning.

‘This Morning’ this morning.
Invited on to ‘This Morning’ with the smart n savvy
Lorraine Kelly and Philip Schofield.
‘All Human Life Is There’ the News of the
World used to emblazon across its masthead. Well,
Rupert Murdoch’s editors may have lowered their
sights, but not the ITV pantechnicon that is This
Morning. There’s more diversity on this show than in
the whole of Tower Hamlets. It was like that bar in
the original Star Wars movie , full of the bizarrest
creatures doing mundane things like gardening
hairdressing and chatting about celebs.
Talking of which, those singing
hairdressers…aaarrrggghh. Words fail me, but I was
fascinated at how rotten the coffee has got in ITV
green rooms. The cuts as always to help the share price. Where
once the mocha would have been gently brewing for the
eminent guests, now there’s a foul machine producing
effluent filtered from the Thames . I relished hearing Alan Titchmarsh being
urged by his publicist or manager or whoever NOT to do
the giant funny vegetables item, advice which he
thankfully ignored, carrying off the sequence
splendidly with his usual panache. The old rockers Status Quo moved
about in their own mysterious way.
I was there to share a sofa with veteran Royal
Correspondent James Whittaker and Cambridge historian
and keen republican Piers Brendon. Piers is uniquely
unqualified to comment on the gossip of the day,
having once been sued by Murdoch and ever since
refusing to have his filthy ‘newspapers’ in the house.
James, once known by the Windsors as “the red tomato”
because of the colour he quickly assumes in tropical
climes, certainly knows his charges, and claims the
British public take active pleasure in seeing those in
High Places being dealt the dirt. We reached the
conclusion that royalty attracts scandal like it
attracts attention, going all the way back through
recent Diana and Fergie shockers, to the abdication,
the Prince Regent and Henry VIII. Populist stuff.