Malcolm Malaren and Lynne Franks go in "I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here!"

A call from one of my fave scribblers informs me that the list of celebrities to brave the jungle and appear on “I’m a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here!” have been just released. I have known for some time that both Malcolm Maclaren and Lynne Franks had taken the ITV schilling and decided to try and generate some media interest, although I can report that Malcolm had second thoughts only a few hours ago. I am genuinely surprised that he has decided to go into the dark cavern of the ninth circle of celebrity hell. Frankly, his brand has not been in bondage and it has is more power than he realises. I hope the advice he ultimately took was given to him by someone not driven by their own greed. Some of the worst decisions have been influenced by celebrity fixers on a commission. On the subject of my good pal Lynne, be warned she is no cliché she should astound the viewing hordes

I once warned a household name considering the lucrative offer of the jungle that he should think carefully before inking the contract. I suggested that if he did go in that he would need an “actuality check” each morning as he woke up in the bush. I offered a visualision of his career as his own body flat on a hospital gurney – on his big toe a tag attached read – “here lies the career of X humiliated by clever “IACGMOH!” editors and producers.