JENNIFER, JENNIFER

Jennifer Aniston has recently begun walking around her Los Angeles mansion in a deep sleep and then waking up confused and bewildered. Friends of Jennifer, 37, believe she has started sleepwalking because of stress in her personal life. The Borkowski poet in residence begs to differ.

Jennifer, Jennifer, sleepwalking queen,
are you rehearsing your roles on the silver screen
as you walk round your mansion, eyes shut and snoring
or are you dreaming of men who’re no longer adoring?

Jennifer, Jennifer, bewildered and lost,
do you quest after fame regardless of cost?
Are you sleepwalking because men have been less than gallant
or are you afraid of your own lack of talent?

Jennifer, Jennifer, perky and bright,
wake up, smell the coffee, look into the light.
You’re famous and wealthy and pretty to boot
but acting just isn’t your strongest suit.

Jennifer, Jennifer, asleep at the lens
you’re the girl whose hair was the real star of Friends.
A pretty poor actor who’s as thin as a twig;
your hair’s a professional but your body’s a wig.