It’s an interesting life being a humble publicist.

What a surreal day following on from the after show comic glamour of the British Comedy Awards where I rubbed shoulders with Charlotte Church, Ant and Dec, Alice Beer and Matt Willis. I had a rather wonderful time seeing old pals like Jonathon Shalit with his new client Myleene Klass, Ed Fosdick who now heads up Ant and Dec’s company and the fabulous Alice Beer with her hallucinogenic puff ball skirt. I escaped third degree burns after being “monstered” by Addison Cresswell brandishing a smouldering cigar, but listened intently to the musings of “uber” criminal lawyer Henry Brandman on matters relating to Barrymore. The mighty comedy producer of Little Britain, Paul Roberts, looked majestic whilst Laurie Mansfield held court with wonderful tales of the up and coming pantomime season.

I then spent the following day helping the PR team advising Mohammed Al Fayed on how to react to the Stephens report into the death of his son and Diana, Princess of Wales. The emotionally charged press conference was silenced when Mohammed produced censored U.S. intelligence letters that he is going to submit to the inquest. A cynical press corp. of over a hundred media were alive to the news that there is, after all, a huge amount of assembled material that Lord Stevens of Kirkwhelpington has not addressed.

Mohamed said : “It’s shocking. It’s completely outrageous that a leading Scotland Yard officer can come up with such an unbelievable judgment. He definitely been blackmailed to say exactly what the British intelligence want him to say.”

Mohamed claimed that six months ago, British intelligence agents stole a laptop from Lord Stevens’ office.

He added: “I am sure they found something very devastating for him, and are using what they have, the information, to blackmail him, to make him like a dog, to say exactly what they want him to say.”

Mohammed believes Diana was pregnant with his son’s baby and that the couple were engaged. He claims the British Secret Service arranged the crash to prevent a member of the royal family from marrying a Muslim.

Read all the media briefing documents about Henri Paul’s blood the embalming of the body, the missing vehicles, motive to murder and knowledge of engagement.

It’s an interesting life being a humble publicist.