WORLD CUP FINALE

As a peace accord, you’d place about as much faith in it as a ceasefire between Israel and Palestine. It’s only a matter of time before it falls apart. And if you’ll excuse the amateur analysis of a complex situation, it all boils down to one thing – an argument over who started it first.

So while we all try to kid ourselves that Wayne accidentally trod on the Portuguese fella’s crown jewels, and it’s easy to blame the other Portuguese fella for getting his erstwhile team mate sent off, just imagine if the boot was on the other foot.

How many Portuguese newspapers think Rooney’s red card was unfair. How many Portuguese people think the foot in the bread basket was an accident? About the same as the number of Englishmen and women who would believe, say, an Argentinian or a German player for doing the same thing to Beckham.

The spin to date has been as predictable as it has been feeble. Wayne has said it was an accident and we’re all supposed to believe it. Despite his longstanding and well earned reputation for having a short fuse, and the visual evidence that his pal Ronaldo wound him up before the game even kicked off. And so it shall be written and believed for ever more – at least this side of the white cliffs of Dover.

Ronaldo, with his longstanding and well earned reputation for showing off, diving and pestering refs, has also issued his own rebuttal, saying he never told the ref to send his mate off – no, really – and that he and Wayne are best friends again – yes, really – and everything’s going to be all right when they meet up in Manchester for pre-season training and post-mortem discussions about the World Cup. Or, in Ronaldo’s case, pre-mortem, I should imagine.

Perhaps the Israelis and Palestinians should adopt the same approach to their conflict, rather than shooting and bombing each other until there’s nobody left to live in Israel/Palestine.

The end result would be the same. Nobody would believe either side.