WEDDING PLANS

Celebrity Big Brother winner Chantelle is still living the dream, to the extent that she and Preston, who she met in the Big Brother house, have announced their engagement.

I’m marrying for money
for the equity cash brings.

My fiancee wasn’t loaded,
he plays guitar and sings

but we met on television
and we’re minting it right now.

so to keep the cash flow rushing
we’ll milk every sacred cow

until they stagger anorexic
and can take no more abuse.

Yes, we’re getting married;
and there’s babies to produce,

because there’s nothing like a baby
to make the public swoon

and Hello will pay us extra –
oh they’ll whistle to our tune

if we offer wedding pics
and baby snaps as buy one get one free

we’ll easily get six figures
for our exclusivity fee.

Our single stars were fading
when we were merely going out

someone would have started saying
I was putting it about

but now we’re going to live
the dream in wedded harmony.

It may only last a month or two
but it’s great publicity.