The MEDIA-MANAGED MARRIAGE

They say there are only seven stories in the world. No matter how often they’re retold, they’re always a pleasure to hear and they form the basis of every single stunt ever perpetrated in the interests of promoting a product.

In the midsummer media, they proliferate in direct proportion to the number of journalists stuck in Luton Airport’s departure lounge.

“Couple get married in (insert name of weird location)” is a classic. DIY superstore; tub of spaghetti; Eddie Stobard articulated lorry; tube station – you name it as long as it’s a product.

This week it was an aerial marriage with the vicar in one bi-plane, the couple in another and the best man in another. Meanwhile, the 75 guests on the ground listened to the vows over loudspeaker.

The planes came courtesy of the Utterly Butterly Flying Circus.

Presumably when they announced their intention to marry, Caroline Hackwood and Justin Bunn got the vicar to read the brands.

A few years ago, it would have been a Crunchie Bar stunt.

The Flying Circus has neatly (shamelessly?) reproduced the same story but swapped the sponsor.

It’s an aerial billboard, up for hire, which knows how to extract the maximum value for its backers by creating events the media likes to cover.

At this rate, it’ll be staging in-flight divorce hearings by next year.

For overworked, understaffed newsrooms, the marriage is the media equivalent of a microwave meal – a story packed with major pun potential (75 wpm story construction) and supported by a dramatic (branded – but who cares) photo (as large as you like, depending on how soon you have to go to press).

So roll out the gags (flying start, wings of love, love is in the air, lovebirds) and the job’s done – paper filled, punters entertained, product placed. Nice one.

Borkowski stunt meter rating: 7.4