The Jonathan Ross Song

The Borkowski poet in residence’s take on Jonathan Ross’ part in the scandal currently consuming the press. Vocal rights for this podcast have been subcontracted to EDF.

Jonathan Ross is, Jonathan Ross is
a sacrificial lamb for the BBC bosses
he may be cheeky, sweary and slick
a gold plated carrot on the end of a stick
but however many kids he got watching the box
his stellar career is now on the rocks
at least at the Beeb, where he’s put on ice
for phoning up actors and not being nice

but Jonathan Ross is, Jonathan Ross is
perfectly capable of cutting his losses
he could go anywhere, and quickly get work
with a wink and a wave and a quirky smirk.

Jonathan Ross is, Jonathan Ross is
highly unlikely to be carrying crosses
he won’t walk on water but he’s not going to drown
however much the press try to push him down.