STOP RUNNING, JADE

Jade Goody failed to complete this year’s London Marathon. Before beginning the race she admitted she had hardly trained for the event. She said her training diet had consisted of Chinese takeaways, curries and beer.

Stop running Jade, stop running.
Your curry’s ready and you look exhausted.
You’ve done ten minutes already and it’s started raining.

Stop running Jade, stop running.
Have a beer. Smoke a fag.
Calm yourself down.

Stop running Jade, stop running.
Your face looks like a beetroot
and it’s not from embarrassment
this time. We’re worried about you.
There’s only so much you can do for charity.

Stop running Jade, stop running
The medal doesn’t matter.
We all know you took part.

Stop running Jade, stop running.
A marathon’s a 26-mile race
not a peanut-filled chocolate bar with a new name.