LORD LAIDLAW LAID LOW

Millionaire Conservative donor Lord Laidlaw has declined to set a date when he will end his tax exile and failed to comply with a condition for a peerage set three years ago. The Borkowski poet in residence took this as a perfect opportunity for a tongue twister…

Lord Laidlaw paid for
a peerage it appears
but Lord Laidlaw’s made sure
his tax bill disappears.
To Lord Laidlaw radar
is something to duck under.
Lord Laidlaw’s strayed far
with his tax free plunder.

Lord Laidlaw’s made for
Monaco with his money.
Lord Laidlaw’s swayed more
by being somewhere sunny.
Lord Laidlaw’s not made for
a peerage it appears
but will he return to Britain
in case it disappears?

if Lord Laidlaw stayed poor
in his mother country
he’d be more accepted
as a member of the gentry,
but Lord Laidlaw laid low
is another matter
he’s got his cake and is eating it
from a silver platter.