KISS AND TELL ALL

Advice for wannabe celebrities

Kiss and tell all,
it keeps the world turning
if the love in your heart is burning, burning.

The world is your oyster
and the press wants your pearls –
especially if you’ve slept with hundreds of girls.

Kiss and tell all
if you’ve slept with a royal.
Diana’s dead, there’s no need to be loyal.

Gay, bi or straight,
there need be no taboos.
If someone complains, you were ‘loaded with booze’.

Kiss and tell all,
it keeps the populace quiet.
If you are celibate, invent a new diet.

Money is mandatory.
Food and sex are the same.
And we all want to know if you’ve been on the game.

Kiss and tell all,
it keeps the world turning.
It’s the greed in your heart that keeps you earning, earning.