Menu
Mark Borkowski.
Mark My Words
  • Blog
  • About
  • Talks
  • Press
  • Books
  • Social
  • Archive
  • Contact
Close Menu
April 16, 2007

IF WILLIAM HAD MARRIED KATE MIDDLETON

“Caring Kate Middleton acted like a new mum to Prince William…” The Sun, Monday, April 16

If William had married Kate Middleton
he’d have made a ghastly error,
akin to fighting fire with fire
as in the war on terror,

a repetition of the worst traits
any royal family possesses
like dressing up as Nazis
or wearing women’s dresses

or actually supporting Hitler
or sleeping with your horse
or calling Chinese “slitty eyed”
or serial divorce

or sucking Texan oilmen’s toes
or writing helicopter books
or sleeping with the servants
or conducting telephone sex

or starting wars around the world
because of family spats
or noisily obsessing
about corgis, horses, cats

or playing Polo in the Cotswolds
or travelling by plane
to tell the world the environment’s
going down the drain

or denying that lesbians
could ever really exist
or living in a bubble world
of privilege and mist.

It’s not that Kate’s too common;
that’s a laughable excuse.
The inbred world of royalty
needs its genes let loose

(and though that’s happened pretty often
the bastards aren’t accepted –
nearly all such assignations
have been safely intercepted).

No, it’s more that the relationship
had become too oedipal –
she’d become his mother
not his good time girl

and the royal family
would certainly have been annoyed
if their bright young hope
was open to analysis by Freud.

Related Posts

Mark Comments, Uncategorized

Circus showman Gerry Cottle dies with coronavirus aged 75

Mark Comments, Uncategorized

STRIKE A POSE Catwalk Queen Kate Moss has £12m in bank after being top of her game for years

Mark Comments, Uncategorized

Depp faces court of public opinion after libel trial

Recent Posts

  • How Harry’s very LA relaunch has only just begun
  • Piers Morgan to return ‘turbocharged’ with new ‘TV show & columns’ after quitting GMB
  • William plots royal ‘fightback’ as he urges Queen to respond ‘robustly’ to Harry’s attack
  • ‘The royal family was castrated’ – the US & UK PR verdict on Meghan & Harry’s Oprah interview
  • Meghan and Harry’s revelations not yet fatal for British monarchy

Previous posts

April 2021
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  
« Mar    

Archives

Back To Top
Mark Borkowski.
  • Blog
  • About
  • Talks
  • Press
  • Books
  • Social
  • Archive
  • Contact
© Mark Borkowski. 2021
Mark My Words
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram