DEATH TO ALL SATIRISTS
The Borkowski poet in residence imagines what might really be going on in some Labour MPs’ minds after Peter Hain’s furious reaction to satirist Rory Bremner’s hoax phone call to Margaret Beckett in 2005, in which he pretended to be Gordon Brown and got her to gossip about cabinet colleagues.
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Death to all satirists!
Down with Rory Bremner.
We’ve got a new target
to aim at and dismember.
Death to all satirists,
impressionists and wits.
Stone them all with mobile phones
or blow them into bits.
Death to all satirists
who get under our skin
and stop us resting easy
in our whisky and our gin.
Death to all satirists!
We know their little game;
they’re nihilistic rejects
destroying our good name.
Death to all satirists
or get a restraining order.
Stop them using mobile phones
and spreading their disorder.
Death to all satirists!
Remove them from the telly.
They must not expose society’s
dirty underbelly.
Death to all satirists
or ASBO them at least.
They’re anarchists and irritants
and need to be policed.
Death to all satirists
and distorters of the truth
(unless they’re politicians
and thus beyond reproof).