CELEBRITY VENN

Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez have split amid rumours he had been unfaithful. Olivier has been linked to a series of other women throughout the couple’s four-year relationship. The Borkowski poet in residence takes a look, from a male perspective, at how this sort of behaviour can help consolidate fame.

It takes some saliva to be a survivor
in the world of celebrity venn
where instant attraction beats natural selection
and sex is the new form of zen.

Cross fertilisation for the good of the nation
is a game all celebrities play.
Starlet dates starlet. Fame is a harlot.
You can even pretend to be gay

or you can follow your member from May to December
or back to the beginning of March.
Your profile gets a boost the more you seduce
though your libido may well need some starch.

It’s all about winning though there’s no beginning
or end – only middle – to the game.
If you make a connection with your reflection,
only then will you understand fame

but for now be pragmatic, give in to the static
and connect with whoever you can.
Don’t be callow, be vain. Don’t think with your brain.
Be a star, a survivor, a man!