Blog Jewellery

I am surrounded by blogs not unlike a plague of locusts. Attached to every email signature that arrives in my inbox from a fellow PR uber cheese, is another link to yet another wacky blog. Cleaning off this smelly, vacuous, verbal diarrhoea, I urge fellow travellers to focus on the issues at hand.

This current trend employed and promoted by highly dubious corporate PR networks, is gnawing away at my conscious, not dissimilar to intrusive toothache. I refuse to succumb to the pathetic attempt to misuse the web. Wacky names and mysterious authors aren’t fooling anyone.

Deep inside the cool copy, is transparent attitude, crafted for gain, aiding and abetting some creepy multinationals   It is amazing that young, savvy and extremely bright graduates agree to freeform on the polemics of the web for corrupt snake oil salesmen.  Oh well, perhaps it is a quick fix to pay off a student loan. Although a form of prostitution, corporate dick sucking has always been considered a necessary evil. These arrogant masters of the PR universe will climax quickly, stimulated by the pornography of their deals.

These superannuated corporates who embellish themselves with blogs are akin to those women of a certain age who adorn themselves with clothes that they couldn’t carry off when they were 17, let alone 45.   I am eager to discover whether these cool blogs are created to make them look edgy.  Does it send out a signal that they are so close to the edge playing with sharp instruments? Or have they just fallen off after a night in a trashy St Tropez club for the “never have beens” with their proverbial niece draped over their arm.   I chant most mornings, pleading to the cosmos to keep the cynical demons away.  If I let them in they will devour my honest enthusiasm.

I am reminded of a panto I was publicising some years ago.  As I, and a number of pensioners from Plaistow, watched Toni Palmer as principal boy, bound onto the stage and slap her thighs, one of the old dears turned and said to another, “Look at that Maud, talk about mutton dressed as mutton!”  Cyber wallpaper paper fails to fool, perhaps the narcissistic bedroom bloggers have heaps more integrity than these delusional PR networks. The underbelly hides a more dubious modus operandi.