Author Archive

The Borkowski poet in residence, Adam Horovitz, returns with a versicle celebrating the reaction to the England v. Algeria match last night.

I’ve been drowning my ennui
in tequila, beer and noise,
trying to float the bubble
football blows and then destroys

I’ve been drowning my ennui.
I’ve been blotting the despair
that’s been welling up inside me
since England were laid bare.

I’ve been drowning my ennui
in lager laced with lime
and it tastes a little salty
but the drowning feels sublime.

Written after reading that Lindsay Lohan discovered she was “a highly sexual person” whilst hiding in a quiet white room for 30 days during a stay in rehab.

Love me or loathe me,
won’t you mentally unclothe me
I’m sexual in the extreme

I’m after something ecstatic
but – let me make this quite emphatic –
I want to be the wet dream.

I want the power and bling confetti
to get the whole world hot and sweaty
I want people to think of me and start to steam

then I want chocolates, I want flowers
I want superpowers
I want lovers who will make me scream

This is not about addiction
just the right amount of friction
and the cat who’s always getting at the cream

it’s about celebrity and hunger
about not getting any younger
anyone who reads the papers knows the theme

I want to live in the world’s headlines
be the one who sets the deadlines
I want to rule the whole celebrity regime

I must be powerful and massive
and I’ll get it by being passive
by lying back and thinking of ice cream

Love me or loathe me,
just mentally unclothe me
I need to find a way to live the dream…

Love Me Or Loathe Me Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

“David Cameron’s call yesterday for the Conservative party to build its foundations on the centre ground was badly jolted on the opening day of the Tory conference when he faced a growing grassroots revolt demanding tax cuts.” The Guardian, Monday, October 2

Give me web cameras or give me death
give me a home in the centre ground
give me a chance to connect with the world
give me a chance to stick around

give me optimism, give me no tax cuts yet
give me a high five, give me space
give me web cameras or give me death
give me a few more months of grace

give me no rebellion, give me backbench calm
give me time to stake my claim
give me a chance to steal Blair’s trousers
give me green policies, give me fame

give me a bicycle, give me immigrants
give me scope to reform the Tories
give me web cameras or give me death
give me access to other men’s glories

give me cappuccino conservatism
give me the New Labour Thatcher-filter
Give me a rough ride in conference
and I’ll show you a party out of kilter.

Give me a happy Britannia,
give me smiley faces. Let sunshine win the day
David Cameron’s got his hat on
and is coming out to play.

Give Me Web Cameras or Give Me Death Play Now | Play in Popup | Download