Ken Livingstone intends to charge 4×4 drivers £25 a day to drive through London if he is re-elected as mayor. The Borkowski poet in residence takes a wry look at the phenomenon of the 4×4.

An Englishman’s car is his castle.
His home’s just a place where he lives.
He may be microwaving the candle
but he loves the feeling it gives
when he drives half a mile
to the schoolyard gates
to drop off his child
and hoot at his mates
before gunning to work
at 60 top whack
then in a traffic jam lurk
with the sun on his back
happily swearing at the fellow in front
egging him on with a gentle nudge
enraged by a cyclist who has the affront
to zoom straight past when he can’t budge.

You can’t get very far in a 4×4 car
but you’re safe, secure, in control.
Behind the bloody great wheel
there’s no doubt that you’ll feel
that this car is you heart and your soul

Yes, an Englishman’s car is his castle
and castles weren’t built to be green
but nothing can hold a candle
to feeling protected and seen.
If the air starts to chafe
and the sun’s light is blocked
at least the Englishman’s safe
when his car doors are locked
from protestors and mayors
who have him under siege.
The car’s answered his prayers
he’s his own lord and liege.
No-one likes taxes
so he’ll curse down the phone
when anyone mentions
Ken Livingstone

You can’t get very far in a 4×4 car
though you’re safe, secure, in command.
But what’s your rush, why the hurry?
Get the train up from Surrey
and watch as your horizons expand!